#LYLbook: Contentment

A sub-habit of quitting comparison is learning to become content. Contentment is being in a state of peace with where you are in life and with what things you have, whether that be a little or a lot.

An important thing to do to get or keep our state of contentment is recording the things we are grateful for, all the blessings which Heavenly Father has given us, and the ways God helped us. I like to write it in my personal journal, but you can keep a separate journal for all the things you are grateful for. It's important to keep track of our blessings because not everyday is going to be a super great day. There will be some days where we feel like we are alone, no one cares, and nothing is going right. Keeping track of our blessings and then reviewing them will help remind us that Heavenly Father is always there for us (so we are never truly alone), people do care about us, and things are going the way it's meant to go. Even when life hits rough patches, it is still important to track our blessings from that day because there is always something to be grateful for, like the fact we are still alive.

Along with keeping track of our blessings, we need to decide what we value. We don't need to do things others want us to do or what the world would have us do; we need to do what we need/want to do. The things we value will probably change over time, so it is okay to re-prioritize. Once we choose our values it's important that we focus on them.

One way to decide what our values are is to look at where the money is being spent and how our time is being used. If we don't like where the money is going and how we've been using our time, then we need to adjust those things accordingly to what we truly value.

A good quote to summarize what it means to be content is from C.S. Lewis when he said "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."

What It Means to Actually be Blessed and to be #Blessed

Rachel Cruze has a section in her book Love Your Life, Not Theirs that talks about this difference between being blessed and #blessed. She also did a vlog about this difference, so I thought I would share it with you because it is important to know the difference.

I know a lot of what she said was what I posted about yesterday, but she goes into detail describing what each of those steps mean.

What she doesn't mention in the vlog is that most often when people use #blessed they are bragging. She gives the example in her book that people don't really use #blessed when they are talking about their beater car. It's most commonly used on the new car and other expensive things. I'm not against people using this hashtag, but it is important to use it wisely.

#LYLBook: Comparison

The first habit that needs to change in order to love our life and be content with it is to stop comparing our life to others. Here are some one-liners and quotes that stood out to me:

• Comparisons not only steals joy it steals your paycheck
• "When we start comparing ourselves to other people, we're playing a game we'll never win."
• "The Joneses may actually be broke! What you are seeing isn't always the real story."
• "When you get caught up in social media comparisons, you're comparing yourself to make-believe. And when you compare yourself to make-believe, your real life will never feel good enough."
• "Comparing ourselves to others is essentially a coping mechanism for our own insecurities. We believe we don't measure up so we project our insecurity onto others. ... And it's those insecurities--our own internal struggles--that are keeping us from living the kind of life we love."
• "We can't blame ourselves for the thoughts that pop into our heads, but we can take responsibility for what we do with those thoughts." (This reminds me a lot about agency.)
• "Don't feel like you're losing just because someone else is winning. Their success has nothing to do with you, so celebrate their success sincerely while you keep working toward your own."

Something that really stood out to me is that comparison is not just about material things. People do it to our families (especially babies). For example, many people will ask things about how old your baby was when they rolled over, smiled, laughed, walked, etc. and compare it to when that person's baby did those same things. Rachel Cruze called this "competitive parenting." It's a real thing, too, I saw it happen many times on Facebook to some of my friends.

Another thought that came to mind as I read is that comparison works two ways. We can compare ourselves to those people who we feel are doing better at life than we are and we also compare ourselves to those we think are doing worse than us. This habit is really a habit about pride and learning to take that pride and turn it into humility.

As I read I realize that I am guilty of making assumptions about a person's life when it comes to things I see on social media, especially when it comes to people my age going on fancy trips, buying new cars, or buying a house. Rachel says that whether our assumptions are good or bad they are meaningless and that it doesn't change their or our own situation, so don't waste the energy making assumptions because it's not our business.

Going along with making assumptions about other people, Rachel talks about our perception of reality may also be skewed and not actual reality. This is something that was discussed quite a bit in my Advanced Family Processes class last year. Everyone has a different view of reality. What one person sees may not be, and often isn't, the same as what someone else sees. For example, most people perceive that millionaires live in fancy houses, drive nice cars, and wears expensive clothes, but actually most millionaires look no different than the average person. They live in modest homes and drive slightly used cars.

I hope from this post you have a better understanding of how to quit comparison. Keep an eye out for future posts about the difference between actually blessed vs. #blessed and being content (both of which will provide additional insights on how to quit comparison).

#LYLBook

I am grateful to have the opportunity to help spread the word about Rachel Cruze's new book Love Your Life, Not Theirs. It is truly an important book for all to read whether or not you struggle to be content with where you are in life. Over the next few days to weeks I'll be sharing insights that I gained from this book and that I feel is really important to know.

Her book comes out October 3, but if you pre-order it before then you will get $70 of FREE stuff. The book is only $20, so it is a really great deal!

I hope you all will learn at least one thing from what I will share from her book and that all of you can start loving your life.

Education Week

Last week I had the opportunity of attending Education Week for the first time. I have been wanting to go for a few years and seeing as this may be my last opportunity to go while we live close to campus I decided to do it.

Let me just say that Education Week was so much fun! I'm so glad I went. I didn't do classes all day because Buttercup needed to go out every few hours, but I did do 2-3 classes per day which I think was plenty for me because I was exhausted by the end of the week.

For those who don't know or haven't been to Education Week before, let me give you a brief description. It's like school, except it's all the really cool and fun classes that aren't usually taught at school and there is no homework. There were classes on anything you can think of: religion, media, political-ish, gardening, organization, family, stress relief, cooking, you name it! For all you Upward Bound-ers out there, it's like UB but only a week long instead of all summer.

The classes I took were on time management, home organization, media, a cooking demonstration with Chef Brad, family history, personal finance, safeguarding homes from pornography, and square foot gardening.

I hope to implement the things I learned from these classes to help me become a better version of me. I also hope to come back again sometime and learn even more about neat things.

A Chef Brad creation!

Devotional with Elder Holland

Look at how full it is!

Second time for him and first for me!

Garden Update

It's been awhile since I mentioned anything about the little flower garden my husband and I planted a few months back, so I figured I would give everyone an update.

All of our dahlias sprouted (6), meaning they have plants but no flowers. I think one of the plants died already and a couple are maybe headed that way. Growth seems to have stalled on all of them.

Out of the 20ish blazing star liatrises we planted, 2 sprouted but I think have stalled on growth and might be starting to die. None of the English daisies or lilies (6ish) sprouted. I think a couple of our asters bloomed, but not where we planted them...I found a couple flowers yesterday that look a lot like asters growing in the parking strip/gutter.

Ivy seems to be taking over our last section of garden, which we find rather annoying, so we'll see if anything will ever grow.

I hope we'll get some flowers this fall if not then hopefully in spring before we move.

From this experience I learned quite a few things. First, I'll only plant what can actually grow and bloom where I'm living. Just because something says if you plant it at this time then it should grow does not mean it is true. Soil quality has a lot to do with it and Utah soil is just not cut out for the flowers we planted; it is awful at taking in water properly. Second, I'll go to the store or a greenhouse and buy the beginning plants that way I will actually know what the plant is supposed to look like and it will actually have a better chance at living. Third, I will water the plants in the morning and not night in order to keep the bugs, mold, and other stuff away.

Hopefully the next time we do a garden we will have much better luck.

Where is the Love?

If the Black Eyed Peas thought this song was applicable back in 2003 when it came out, I wonder what they think about it in today's context of all that is going on.

I know love is out there. I know good still exists in the world. I know that people are inherently good. I also know that we should not judge an entire race, occupation, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc. of people based on the acts of a few.

Not all cops are bad (I know some cops who are really great people). Not all black/Hispanic/other race of people are criminals. Not all white people are racists. Not all religious people are homophobic. Not all Muslims are terrorists (I know a couple of Muslims who are good people).

It really saddens me to see all the hate going on out there. This hate is what will bring this great nation and eventually the world down. We need to focus on our similarities; look past our differences. We need to realize that ALL LIVES MATTER (including those not yet born). We all have someone who loves us. We all came from a family. We ALL are sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us tremendously.

In the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995-2008:

Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can put behind us our weaknesses of the past, and go forth with new energy and increased resolution to improve the world about us, in our homes, in our places of employment, in our social activities.

I know that as we come together and show an increase of love toward each other we will be a strong nation. Peace will abound. Crimes will decrease. I really believe that each of us are trying to do the best we can do and be the best we can be. I don't think most of us have the intent to hurt others just because of some difference. Please, can we just love each other more and realize that no one group of people is better than another and that all lives matter?